My chemo vacation ended and I’m back at it, this time a new chemo. The Red Devil pissed off on June 29th. Good ridden M-Fer. My new chemo is called Taxol. It’s a weekly regimen now for 12 weeks. My first treatment was July 20th and to say I went kicking and screaming is an understatement. I woke up with more anxiety than I had with Red Devil. Everything was making me cry and I was literally making myself sick with the thought of drinking water and getting in the car to go. It’s almost like the vacation was a curse more than a blessing. How will this new chemo make me feel? Could it get worse? Ugh. Struggle Bus in full effect. This is chemo #5 of 16 (Red Devil #1-4 and Taxol will be #5-16).

New side effects are now entered into my life. Potential for permanent nerve damage, great. Of course we’ll also still have the usual side effect suspects lingering… nausea, mouth sores, hair loss, exhaustion, headaches, fatigue, metallic tastes, anemia, dizziness, tingling/numbing of hands/feet. My oncologist suggests B6 and Beetroot supplements, they ‘may’ help with the neuropathy (nerve damage). Also, cold packs on hands and feet during actual treatment. Are the 100% going to work? It’s a guessing game. Some people swear by them, others may say it’s a magic rock attempt. To me, it’s not a magic rock attempt, because there is logical explanations for why to try them. So here I am, training for my eskimo excursion.

As for the beetroot… ugh! It’s in capsule form, so it shouldn’t be bad. WRONG. Opening the bottle I’m immediately overwhelmed with the beet smell. Take it down. Now, for the next hour I burp beets. Double UGH! Seriously, it’s like taking a bite out of my garden and I’m burping weeds, grass and dirt. But wait, it’s just beets.

Chemo #5 was more of a mental hurdle than anything. I was so in my head that I was going to feel like I did with Red Devil. As soon as I sat down in the chair I thought I was going to get sick. Luckily my nurse was the woman I’ve had before and she talked to me to calm me. We discussed our boys baseball, vacation, and anything to take my mind off of wanting to hurl. I began sweating and got extremely dizzy and felt the walls coming in on me. I couldn’t concentrate on my ipad, it was making me more sick. I stared outside the window and focused on my breathing. It sucked and felt forever. Downed a gatorade, in between sips of water. Downed a gingerale, in between sips of water. Sucked extra hard on my chemo ginger flavored suckers (they actually work for me). Finally I was able to calm myself. Infusion is about 30 minutes shorter than bitch Red Devil. I’m still there for 3 1/2 hours though. As soon as that alarm went off that I was done, I was raising my hand to get my nurses attention so I could get out of there. I was already exhausted, but it also didn’t help that I probably only slept 4 hours the night before. They’ve got me on a steroid for the first few infusions of this new med to minimize any reaction. Apparently the steroid can effect sleep, no shit! It can also make me irritable. No wonder I’ve been referring to my kids as assholes lately. Behind their backs of course, I mean seriously, what kind of mother do you think I am?

Came home from chemo, still feeling a bit dizzy and exhausted. Immediately took a nap and woke up feeling pretty OK. I’m mean like 70% normal, versus 50% normal on a good day after Red Devil. I was afraid this was the calm before the storm of side effects, but nope. I took it easy still, hydrated and it never got worse! Scream it from the highest hill in Gilberts, WOOHOO!!!!

Saturday, July 23rd, Brian and I were able to go out and celebrate our 17th anniversary at our favorite Wisconsin restaurant, Wilmot Stage Stop. It is highly recommended! Reservations are a must. Steak and lobster for days and end the night with a Cocotini. Thank you Ali and Denise for making the night so special for us. Happy Anniversary my love! Stopped at a local bar after dinner and infiltrated the tunes.

Yesterday was Chemo #6. I woke up optimistic that my side effects would again be minimal. Sure as shit, they were! I can do this!!! Chemo, home, nap, woke up and grilled a feast for everyone. Salmon, Cod and chicken (gotta have a backup when you’re grilling fish for a family that doesn’t normally want to eat fish). I love grilling. Note… ALL the food was eaten. Felt so great after resting and eating that I was even able to drink a bottle of wine. shhh… and if you judge, please find a new blog to read. 😉

Headed to Michigan this weekend, we’ll see if the sun wipes me out again now that I’m on a new chemo. Either way, it will be a great time. ☀️⚓️