Today was an overload of information and slight panic attack of, how do I get all of this done. Started with follow up to plastic surgeon with the ultimate hopes of getting these two drains out of me! It hinders my ability to lift my arms all the way up, to wear normal shirts, because I have tubes coming out basically my armpits. I sat in the room, waiting for the doctor. You know how it goes. You literally are sitting on the table in a paper gown watching the shadows of people walking by. You hear them stop for a brief minute, you hear papers shuffling and you play the game, “are they looking at my sheets and are they coming in here yet?” You’ve all done it.

Dr. says everything is looking good, but they only feel comfortable removing one drain. Ugh. Well, one is better than none. I’ll just keep pretending I’m old school European with my armpit hair. He also is unveiling the “Left My Nipple At The Hospital” breast that I haven’t seen since before my original surgery. I’m curious, yet also fearful of breaking down in the doctor office. Conveniently there is a mirror right in front of me from where I’m sitting. The bandage is removed and ahoy matey! It’s One-Eyed Willy. It doesn’t look bad at all. I’m totally fine with it. My hooters kinda look like they’re winking at me, and who wouldn’t like that.

Get home and the Johnny 5 Breakdown starts…

General surgeon calls to give me final results of my second surgery (Where I left my nipple). Turns out DCIS cancer was ALSO in my nipple, so good ridden you bitch. My Oncotype score, which basically tells your risk factor for cancer coming back. If it’s high, it helps determine whether or not chemotherapy is necessary. For my age, they told me if I was over 16 they’d likely recommend chemo. I was 39, so, HELLO CHEMOTHERAPY! Before I can start chemo, I need to have a port put in, because of how long I’ll be on chemo. Before that, I need to have an echocardiogram and also get my last drain out.

So, next week, I have a general surgeon follow up, plastic surgeon follow-up (hopefully remove drain), fit surgery in there somewhere to get port installed, oh and let’s remember I have a child with Crohn’s and he has his Dr. appointment with Lurie Children’s that I can’t really blow off. And baseball, don’t forget about baseball. Ugh!

One step at a time. Totally get it, but sometimes one step at a time feels like I’m wearing two left shoes and I keep getting tripped up.

As of now, Chemo is planned to start May 18th. In the past week I’ve talked to some amazingly strong women who have already been down the same path as me and it’s been great to get their input and hear their suggestions/stories. One woman, Joy, even started her own charity, https://www.bringingjoy.org/, and I hope to get more involved with her mission. My mother-in-law, who is an amazing crafty beaver, started making little pouches with inspirational quotes. She’s shared these pouches with a local organization in WI and will also be sharing some with the warrior I’ve been talking to help her and her mission. It’s sad, yet inspirational how a pink ribbon can bring such strong women together. Check out these pouches/bags.