I start telling friends and family. Well, really, I tell my parents and Brian’s parents and let them pass the news on. Talking about it sometimes chokes me up, and I’d rather not do that. Brian is a co-host on a Chicago radio station, 97.1FM The Drive. Every Monday he and his co-host, Tingle, call the wives and we grade them for how they were as husbands over the weekend. Hilarity usually ensues, but not this particular Monday. I tell Brian in advance that I want to mention it on the radio. It’s something that is going to be a big part of our lives and to be honest, our lives spill over onto the radio. If I can get just one person to think, wow, I can’t remember the last time I had a mammogram, I better schedule one, I’ve helped.
It’s my turn to grade Brian and he gets an A+. I explain that we’ve had some personal things going on and Brian’s support and love for me is nothing less than perfect. I do my best to squeak out telling them about my doctor appointments and yadda, yadda, yadda and and end by saying I’ve decided I will most likely being a double mastectomy. “I’m 43 years old, if you haven’t had your mammogram in the past year, it’s time!” It was a very surreal out of body experience, listening to myself declare that on a radio station. I also felt a tingling sensation of relief that it’s official, I know next steps so there is nothing else to fear.
There are weekends where Brian and I just hang out in the basement, enjoying each other’s company as we always do. We’ll play darts, or sing. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m basically Star Search worthy. Adelle ain’t got shit on me. Haha! Then all of a sudden, it’s like reality comes back and we hold each other and cry. I get angry and ask the normal questions like, WHY?!?!? We have a son with Crohn’s, our energy and fight go to him, now we have to think of me? That’s ridiculous.
I tell Brian I wanted a boob lift, just not this way, we should have a goodbye party for them. Brian is my person, he gets me in a way that no one else can, he immediately responds with, “A good-bye boobie party is perfect!”